terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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