from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
