Farmville is her only friend.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
