so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
