O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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