So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
