If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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