do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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