Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
