and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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