He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
