Can i not drive my cunt home
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
