how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
