thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Randomize