You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
