thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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