The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
