I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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