So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
