just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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