he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
