ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They have beer where we have blood.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
