His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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