Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
