I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
