We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
God I need to hump something, right now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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