Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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