i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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