There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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