Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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