a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
