i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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