We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
