Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
