im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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