how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
