what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
