using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
