we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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