I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
