some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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