Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
