im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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