I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
