Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
