It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
