Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
