Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
