Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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