So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
