If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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