i just had sex bonerless
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
