im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
