so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
