Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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