There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
