you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
