yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
