talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
