i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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