U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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