oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
