i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
