i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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