it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
