Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
