The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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