This is not my ceiling
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
