Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
