I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
