She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
