I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
