my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
