I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
