im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
