i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
