She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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