He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I deserve this hangover.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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