We won't sleep together?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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