my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
