i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
